Once in a while, that familiar feeling of insecurity creeps inside me whenever I check Facebook and see most of my batchmates from college busying themselves with law or sharing an experience about how wonderful their job is.
Once in a while, I stumble into someone's wall and find out that that person is already working or travelling abroad and I begin to ask myself what the fuck am I doing with my life.
Once in a while, I question the path that I have chosen to tread and wonder what's in store for me up ahead. Did I make the right decision? What should I do to succeed and get what I want? Where will I be 5 years from now? 10 years from now? Will I still be stuck in the same rut that I'm in? And if so, what should I do?
I actually do not know how to answer these questions. My short-term goal is to earn enough money to travel and buy what I want. Be satisfied with what I have and be able to say that I am perfectly happy. My long-term goal is to be successful but I don't know the very essence of that word. Do I equate it with money? Do I equate it with the amount of happiness that I am experiencing and the contentment that will fill my heart? I want to be successful but I don't want to have a stressful life. How is that possible?
I am actually scared that my laid-back attitude will get me nowhere. It seems that in this life you have to choose two paths. One leads to success and richest at the expense of having time at your own disposal. The other one leads to a life where you have all the time in the world but you cannot do what you want because you have no resources (READ: Money).
I fucking hate life and what we humans made of it.
This is totally incoherent.
Wednesday, March 2
Random Musings of a Depressed Chica
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